House by the Cemetery (1981)

Click here for a detailed plot synopsis, but beware of spoilers.

I'm usually pretty forgiving about the gaps in logic that seem to be inherent in a lot of Italian horror movies. Most of the time there's a trade off where plot cohesion is sacrificed in order to create a nightmarish atmosphere. In movies where this is done well, I can forgive the resulting plot holes. House by the Cemetery isn't one of those movies, unfortunately.

Lucio Fulci's work has always been an acquired taste, but I've usually been able to look beyond its fault. Even so, I find it difficult to give this movie a pass. Lack of narrative logic was a trademark of Fulci's, but here it's gotten to a point where it's just too nonsensical. A person can only suspend their sense of disbelief for so long before it gets to be a joke, and this movie is an example of such an instance. Adding insult to injury is the film's horrible dub. The dubbing jobs for these things were never that great to begin with, but this one is just so grating that it's hard to watch at times. This may not be Fulci's worst effort, but he certainly did far better over the course of his career.

The version I own on DVD is one of those crappy public domain things I found in the bargain section of my local Sam Goody, and it's honestly kind of a piece of crap. If you absolutely have to own the movie on DVD, I'd recommend getting Anchor Bay's version. I haven't ever had the chance to take a look at it myself but it can't possibly be any worse than the version I own.

At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul (1963)

At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul is not only the first entry in Jose Mojica Marins' long-running 'Coffin Joe' franchise, it also has the distinction of being Brazil's first homegrown horror movie.

This is a strange sort of film, and not just due to its subject matter. Picture a marriage between the set design and atmosphere of the old Universal Pictures monster movies of the '40s and '50s and the over the top sensibilities of the grindhouse movement and you'll have some idea as to what to expect from this film. It makes for an interesting dichotomy, both jarring and entrancing at the same time.

I don't yet own a copy of the movie on DVD, but it and several of the other films in the franchise are available here in the U.S. They seem to have gone out of print, but they can still be had for a fair price if you look hard enough.

Trivia:
1) Director Marins only stepped into the role of Coffin Joe after the actor originally hired to play the part failed to show up on set. He's been playing the part ever since.

Link(s) of interest:
1) Click here for a detailed plot summary, but beware of spoilers.
2) Buy the DVD.

Five Fingers of Death (1972)

Five Fingers of Death is probably most notable for being the movie that was at the vanguard of the kung fu cinema craze that exploded in America during the early 1970s. It sports the basic revenge plot that's so typical for these movies, but it's perhaps a bit better than its ilk due to the pathos it throws into the mix. The fights aren't necessarily all that memorable, but the antics of the film's quirkier characters make up for it. Probably remembered more for its badass title and place in genre history than for anything else. Definitely not my favorite Shaw Brothers picture, but not one I particularly dislike either.

The movie was released on DVD in the U.S. last year by Dragon Dynasty under the title King Boxer. It contains lots of special features as is usual for Dragon Dynasty's releases, but the real gem is a commentary track featuring none other than Quentin Tarentino. The DVD is well worth the price for that alone.

Trivia:

1) One of the musical cues from the movie was used in the soundtrack of the Kill Bill films.

Link(s) of interest:

1) Click here to read a plot summary of the film, but beware of spoilers.

The Beastmaster (1982)

The Beastmaster is another entry in the flood of post-Conan the Barbarian sword-and-sorcery flicks that inundated theaters during the early 1980s, albeit one of the better ones. It actually follows the plot of Conan fairly closely: the death of the hero's fairly at the hands of an evil cult leader, episodic early adventures wherein the hero meets his companions, etc. Not especially creative, but if you're going to ape rip off another movie then you might as well rip off a good one. The end result is nothing more than brainless entertainment, but stuff like that is good sometimes. One thing I've always wondered is why they spray painted a tiger black instead of just finding a trained panther to play the main character's animal companion. It's kind of ridiculous. Amusing, but still ridiculous.

Anchor Bay has put out several different DVDs of the film. I own this one. Not bad in the way of special features; the best one being a lengthy presentation of rare behind-the-scenes footage and deleted scenes narrated by director Don Coscarelli. My personal favorite, however, is the included 16-page booklet that contains a lot of badass pre-production art.

Trivia:

1) Demi Moore was originally cast as the female lead, but the part went to Tanya Roberts instead.

2) The movie was once parodied on Adult Swim's Robot Chicken.

Link(s) of interest:

1) Click here to read a plot outline of the movie, but beware of spoilers.

2) Click here to visit the movie's fanlisting.

Time Bandits (1981)

This film was one of Terry Gilliam's first post-Monty Python directorial efforts. Kind of an uneven film, but still entertaining because of Gilliam's trademark dark humor and distinctive visual flare. Also notable for the large number of cameos, including appearances by Sean Connery, Ian Holm, Shelley Duvall and Ralph Richardson, as well as Gilliam's fellow Python alums John Cleese and Michael Palin. The ending is really downbeat, which has always struck me as odd in light of the fact that the main character is a kid. One would think Gilliam could've taken things in a lighter direction...

There are several DVDs of the film floating around; I own this one from Anchor Bay. The main extras are a lengthy interview with Gilliam and Palin as well as a retrospective of Gilliam's career.

Trivia:
A sequel was planned but never came to fruition.

Link(s) of interest:
Click here to read a plot synopsis of the film, but beware of spoilers.

Drunken Master (1978)

Drunken Master is yet another vintage Jackie Chan gem. It was made back-to-back with Snake in the Eagle's Shadow and even went so far as to utilize the same actors from that earlier production. The plots of the two films are almost identical as well, but that doesn't make them any less entertaining. Both films center around styles of kung fu that are interesting to watch, and the chemistry between Chan and the late Siu Tien Yuen is really great.

There's really not much to say about the DVD. It's pretty barebones, but it does sport a serviceable widescreen transfer and the original Chinese language track at a cost of only $10. Not a bad package for the price, though not really a great one either. Still, the film's a must own for Chan fans.

Trivia:
This film is loosely based on the life of Chinese folk hero Wong Fei Hong.

Link(s) of interest:
Click here to read a plot outline, but beware of spoilers.

Zombi 2 (1979)

This movie is my second favorite Lucio Fulci picture. Click here for a plot summary, but beware of spoilers.

This is probably the most coherent Fulci film that I've seen. It's a fairly typical zombie movie in terms of plot, but it's just so over the top. For example, where else could you see an underwater battle between a zombie and a shark? The gore quotient is pretty high as well. There's even one scene (the infamous "eye" sequence) that makes a jaded gorehound like myself squirm. Definitely not a movie for everybody, but required viewing for fans of Italian horror.

I've yet to replace my battered old VHS copy of this with the DVD version, but it's on my to-do list. There are several DVDs of the film floating around, but the one that seems to be the nicest is this one from Shriek Show. It definitely blows the other discs away in terms of bonus features.

Trivia:
Even though the movie is called Zombi 2, there technically never really was an original Zombi. The film's title was selected as a way to cash in on the success of George Romero's Dawn of the Dead, which was called Zombi in Italy.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters (2007)

This movie hasn't really been out long enough to be considered a cult film, but the TV series that it's based on is a certifiable cult hit, so I'm just going to roll with it. Click here for a plot summary, but beware of spoilers.

ATHF is the very definition of an acquired taste; you either love it or hate it. That being said, even diehard fans may be a little disappointed by this movie. The main reason for this is that the franchise's brand of humor doesn't really lend itself to longform stories; it works fine in the 12 minute chunks that compose the TV series but really starts to drag when drawn out to an hour and a half. That being said, there are a few treats for longtime fans to be found here as well as some other surprises. My personal favorite is a brief cameo appearance by Bruce Campbell as the voice of the forgotten fourth Aqua Teen that's just priceless.

I don't own the DVD, but it seems to be a fairly well put together package. It's a 2 disc set that boasts a lot of extras, the big draw being a completely different cut of the film that was scrapped in favor of the one that ended up in theaters. It's definitely something that's intriguing to longtime fans, myself included.

Triva:
The guerrilla marketing campaign for the film landed the makers in hot water in Boston when one of the neon signs used to promote the movie was mistaken for a bomb.

The One-Armed Swordsman (1971)

Go here for a plot summary, but beware of spoilers.

The One-Armed Swordsman is regarded as a seminal 'wuxia' film, a subgenre of martial arts cinema that follows the exploits of noble, self-sacrificing swordsmen. This film marks the first time star Jimmy Wang Yu portrayed a one-armed martial artist, and is quite a bit better than a lot of what came after.

The fight choreography is good for the most part. My only nitpick has to do with the fact that it's fairly obvious to the viewer that Jimmy Wang Yu's character's 'missing' arm is clearly just strapped behind his back, but there probably really wasn't any way around this. You notice it less and less as the film goes on, so it ends up not really being that big of a deal.

The Region 1 DVD was produced by Dragon Dynasty, a company that just continues to impress me. I would have been satisfied to just get this in the original Chinese with a decent widescreen transfer; Dragon Dynasty gives us this and then does us one better by including lots of worthwhile extras at a budget price. Well worth the purchase for genre fans and fans of Chinese cinema alike.

Trivia:
This was the first film to ever make over a million dollars at the Chinese box office.

Humanoids from the Deep (1980)

Go here for a plot summary, but beware of spoilers.

1980's Humanoids from the Deep (also known as Monster) is sort of a weird movie. It's basically a marriage between the goofy plots of 1950s B-movies and the excessive sex and violence that permeated the horror genre during the 1980s. I've always felt like it worked though, but then again movies about sea monsters/sharks/etc. have always creeped me out ever since I first saw the original Jaws. I guess it has something to do with how alien an environment the ocean is for us humans or something. I don't know. As far as the movie goes, the special effects aren't exactly impressive or anything, but its a fun little piece of inconsequential horror.

I can't really comment on the DVD release since its long out of print and goes for a premium on eBay, but it seems to have contained some interesting bonus features, most notably featurette wherein film critic Leonard Maltin interviews legendary B-movie auteur Roger Corman about his involvement with the film.

Trivia:
Corman ordered that additional scenes be shot after the movie wrapped because he felt that there weren't enough scenes of sex and violence.